Blogging

PostingToodle pip

Less than two weeks to go until the baby's due date, and I'm taking a short break from blogging. It's so I can concentrate on the essential stuff - like lying here on the sofa, knitting teddy bears, going through Beanie's wardrobe to sort out clothes for the new baby, working on my husband to persuade him of my choice of baby names, drinking tea and annoying friends at work by phoning up for long chats. The outside world has become a scary and exotic place, since I'm more or less house-bound these days. Even a trip to the end of the road has become quite an undertaking. Husband gets worried if I suggest going out on my own, after I collapsed outside our local library last week and had to be rescued by Beanie's granny, who scooped me up in a taxi to take me home. Then I ended up in hospital on a drip a few days ago, where the medics advised rest. So, I'm trying to scale back commitments wherever I can. Blogging's become a bit of an addiction, so it'll probably do me good anyway to take a break for a while. It's not for ever; I plan on being back in the autumn, when things should be getting back to normal. Any other new or expectant mums reading this, best of luck to you all. I'll be thinking of you. And I'll ask my husband to post about developments with me and our baby as and when they happen.

Posted 27 June 2008 15:58 | Number of comments: 18 | Comments

Blogging Granny Husband New baby

PostingMystery of the Meme

I've been tagged by Vanessa of Fidra - (now that sounds like a book title if ever I heard one) - in something called a book meme.

The rules are:

1. Pick up the nearest book.

2. Open to page 123

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the next three sentences.

5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

Birthing from Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz.

"The burst of energy that accompanies the onset of labour allows for last minute 'nesting'. Use this opportunity to take care of any unfinished business before settling into your birth place and the state-of-mindlessness sometimes referred to as 'Labourland'. In America, the image of women in labour lying down in a narrow bed, waiting and watching the monitor has become part of our idea of birth."

My brain isn't working well this morning - that 'state-of-mindlessness' thing kicking in already. I need to have a think about who I'll tag. Update follows later.

Posted 02 May 2008 10:38 | Number of comments: 5 | Comments

Blogging Books

PostingBook Festival Update

Edinburgh International Book Festival UPDATE

I'll be speaking on the subject of Books and the Internet at the EIBF on Friday August 15 at 2pm. The organisers have kindly agreed to give me a date that won't clash with my husband's 40th birthday - also mid-August. I don't want to over-promise: anything I know about Books and the Internet is what I've learnt from swapping notes with readers of this blog and other friends I've made on-line. But I'm working hard to pack as much information into the workshop as possible.

Posted 24 April 2008 16:35 | Number of comments: 2 | Comments

Blogging Books

PostingTagged

I've been tagged by Alex at Shedworking to reveal six things about myself. Here goes:

1. My favourite food is peanut butter on toast. I'm eating this gourmet concoction as I type.

2. I get pleasure from cleaning kitchens. Untidiness depresses me.

3. I have a literary agent. Oooh, get me! But I still feel odd saying sentences like "My agent thinks....."

4. I am NOT a character from a McCall Smith book. I am a real person. Despite what anyone says.

5. I am looking forwards to lunch with my husband on Sunday. Just the two of us.

6. I am already nervous about giving birth to our second child in July.

Okay, my turn. I'd like to tag Omega Mum, Vanessa from The Fidra Blog and Erica from Littlemummy.

Posted 24 April 2008 15:28 | Number of comments: 6 | Comments

Blogging

PostingHappy Birthday Zornhau

One of the nicest things about blogging has been the Friends Reunited aspect: getting back in touch with old friends I haven't seen in years. My friend Zornhau and I more or less grew up together. Then we lost touch: I moved away to London, he stayed in Edinburgh. I kept in occasional contact with his sister. I went to her wedding, she drove two hundred miles to come to mine, even though she was in early pregnancy and looked wretched. We sent presents for each other's babies. I heard snippets from her about Zornhau's life.

Twenty years after I last saw Zornhau I was pushing a buggy along an Edinburgh street when I bumped into him by chance. We chatted for a few minutes. Both married. One child each. Me a daughter. Him a son. Working in similar areas. We talked of house renovations, flats and primary schools. Good, grown-up stuff. "Do you have a blog?" he said, as we parted. "Yes, Mother at Large," I yelled into the wind. Thank you, Va-vay, for what must have been a memorable blog address. We renewed our friendship via our blogs.

Last Friday was Zornhau's 40th birthday. It was lovely to help him, his wife and their many, many friends celebrate. There were lots of people - yes, real people - there I've only ever known as people commenting on his site. So I got to meet the blokes behind blog names like Calcinations, The Hat and Single Point. There was also a group of people I remember from the teenage party years. Zornhau's wife pointed out a man standing at the bar. "That's Michael," she said. "You'll remember him from when you were growing up." I peered at the bar, looking for a shy and gangly teenager. No-one there fitted the bill. I looked at her in puzzlement.

"There," she said gently. "In front of you." I looked again. The Michael I remembered had gone, bulked out into a full-grown man. This bloke was confident. Could hold a conversation. Look a woman in the eye. He even had a girlfriend, for goodness sake. Others from our gang of friends were there. It was fantastic to see them. Though we all of us - amazingly - seemed to have aged twenty years overnight. And some of them turned out to be behind blog names I've seen on Zornhau's site and elsewhere. That's the thing about blogging - you never quite know where you are.

Posted 20 April 2008 14:18 | Number of comments: 6 | Comments

Blogging Friends

PostingEdinburgh Book Festival appearance

headereibf_Small.jpgNicola Morgan, head of the Society of Authors in Scotland, and the Edinburgh International Book Festival have asked me to do a writer's workshop at the festival in August on blogging, social networking and books. Wonderful news, but I did feel honour-bound to point out that following the collapse of The Friday Project I don't currently have a book contract. I didn't want them to take me under false pretences. Were they sure they still wanted me? Not a problem, said the organisers. They already knew all about my publisher going bust (very sorry, sure something good would come of it) and could I please talk a bit to the audience about my experiences with The Friday Project? Well, fine. I can do that. Only other snag is that I'm due to give birth just six weeks earlier. But my friend Vanessa has offered to look after the baby in the refreshment tent while I do the workshop. So looks like we're in business. Anyone in Edinburgh in August, do please come along if you get the chance. I'll do my best to make it informative and fun.

Posted 20 April 2008 13:04 | Number of comments: 6 | Comments

Activities Blogging Books Fashionably Late - the book Out and about

PostingWelcome to Guardian readers

guardianlogo_Small.gifWelcome to anyone who's found this site through its mention today in The Guardian in its weekly Guide. I'm delighted to be included in the paper's Internet section in a column on Blog Roll Mums, where I feature alongside The Baby Juggler, Mommy Has A Headache, Parenthacks, Strife in the North and Sarcastic Mom. If anything on the site strikes a chord with you, please leave a comment. And if any of you became a mum over 35, drop me a line. I'm researching for my book Fashionably Late so would love to hear from you.

Posted 01 March 2008 12:29 | Number of comments: 16 | Comments

Blogging Fashionably Late - the book Older mother

PostingTime and Tide

Apologies for the lack of recent postings. I've only just realised it's been six days since I managed to blog. Six whole days. Shameful contrast to the high watermark of summer, when I set myself a target of daily postings.

I'd love to blame the downturn on Christmas and being too busy with shopping and partying to blog. But the truth is I haven't been too well and have hardly left the flat. I'm also finding I need to put any spare time into writing my book.

I've been busy reading around the subject of motherhood when not looking after Beanie and working on the book.

Regular readers of this blog might remember I'm a huge fan of Kate Mosse's Becoming a Mother. I liked it so much, I re-read it over the weekend, just to enjoy that feeling of companionship and support again.

I've also been reading Susan Faludi's Backlash - The Undeclared War Against Women, which has got me energised with anger. She dismisses the infertility scare stories of recent years as having little or no basis in fact, blaming them on widespread resentment at women's new-found freedom to work and decide when (or if) they will have children.

Reading Backlash reminded how fed up I am with some of the unflattering descriptions used for women who have babies after 35. Is it not about time the medical authorities thought up something less insulting than 'senile primigravida' to describe a first-time mother over 35?

I'm also losing patience with hearing healthy, blooming women in their late thirties and early forties described as 'older'.

When are we going to wake up to the fact that women in their thirties (and older) are in their prime? These are some of our most productive and creative years. Calling us 'old' is part of the same attempt to stigmatise any woman who shows some choosiness about when and how she has children that also leads to bogus infertility scares and 'man shortage' stories.

I don't think of myself as 'old' or even 'older' - and that's because, looked at in absolute terms, I'm not. I was older than the average first-time mum (29) when I had my daughter (at 38). But that doesn't qualify me for the zimmer frame and slippers quite yet.

Come to think of it, I don't even consider my mother, an energetic 67-year-old, to be  'old'. Though she has qualified for a bus pass that Beanie regularly filches from her handbag.

What do you think is a good substitute for 'old' or 'older' to describe new mums or mums-to-be over 35?

Posted 10 December 2007 12:17 | Number of comments: 10 | Comments

Blogging Books Dilemmas Fashionably Late - the book Older mother Paradoxes Work at Home Mum

PostingRead all about it

en06blob_Small.jpgGreat piece in the Edinburgh Evening News on my book, Fashionably Late, about being an older mum - Motherhood blog gives birth to book deal for city woman.

It was embarrassing when the paper's photographer arrived and Beanie led her into the back bedroom, the only room I hadn't managed to tidy when I heard the 'snapper' was coming, and where I'd dumped all the clean laundry, two racks of still-damp clothes, Va-vay's computer books and stuff for my tax return. But she didn't seem to mind. Seemed almost reluctant to follow me back into the hall, if you ask me.

As you can see, Beanie got to have her picture taken by the photographer. She was very patient while this happened, though I could see an inner battle going on. On the one hand, she wanted to stay put and enjoy the special attention and rare privilege of getting to play with the laptop, (of which, more later). On the other, she wanted to continue her rampage across the flat.

The clever photographer clinched it by waving Miffy the Rabbit (not featured) over her shoulder. As a result, you can see Beanie in the shot, dressed in the special jersey we bought her in France, clinging onto a piece of cottonwool. We're both pretending to gaze with interest at the aforementioned laptop. Can't be sure, but think they might have kindly airbrushed out the bags under my eyes. And some laughter lines. Normally my credentials as an older mother are more, err, in evidence. Beanie didn't need airbrushing, being beautiful as she is.

Va-vay said he was proud of us all when he saw the piece: me, Beanie and the laptop. Yes, the laptop. That's because he chose it for me. Va-vay views it with almost proprietary interest. Plus he treats computers like well-loved household pets. And vice versa. When I took a long time today to answer a question, he said: "You should have a little hourglass thing going round, that way I'd know you were thinking. Or had crashed." God forbid I ever need re-booting.

But I digress. Being a journalist myself, it was odd but not unpleasant not being the one asking questions. And it was lovely to see the piece. They even quoted parts of the blog next to the article. I was a bit bemused by some of the rather ill-informed comments people left on the on-line version but I had some kind emails from people. One woman got in touch to tell me she found the blog 'lovely and heartwarming'. Awww, shucks. Makes it all worthwhile. Now, as Beta Mum has said, I've got to hope the delivery of the book isn't as painful as actual childbirth.

Posted 06 November 2007 22:15 | Number of comments: 10 | Comments

Blogging Books Fashionably Late - the book Older mother

PostingHer boyfriend is a twat

51AwEY1z0kLAA240_Small.jpg Blogger Zoe McCarthy has just published the highly entertaining book, My Boyfriend is a Twat, loosely based on her blog of the same name. I would recommend it to all who have ever been puzzled by the inexplicable behaviour of the men in their lives - in other words, all of us. Zoe has taken some time out from her life in Belgium with the Twat to answer a few questions I put to her about her new book, published by The Friday Project, who will be publishing my own book if I ever get my act together and start writing it.

Helen: First of all, many congratulations on the book.

Zoe: Thank you. You obviously haven't read it.

H: Could you tell us what inspired you to write MBIAT – the book?

Z: It was an idea from Clare Christian at The Friday Project.  Initially, she approached me about writing a book based on my blog.  B O R I N G.  So I said that I wasn't interested.  Then Clare twisted my arm and held it tight with other suggestions, such as making the book into a manual and giving hints to other women how to deal with partners who are a twat.  She even offered me an egg coddler so I said 'yes'.  My arm still hurts though.

H: Will regular readers of your blog find lots of new material in the book?

Z: Definitely.  Well, it's old material that happened before Quarsan (the twat in my life) and I met and therefore has never appeared on my blog.  He's been a bit of a plonker all his life, if you ask me.

H: What was it like going from writing a blog to a book?

Z: Very, very difficult.  As the book is about  Quarsan, I had to sieve through almost four years' worth of posts, discarding those that weren't relevant and then re-writing those that were.  I think I only cut and pasted two small parts of my blog - the rest has been entirely rewritten so as to be able to be read in book-form.  I'm not all that sure that I succeeded - but then, I haven't read the book.

H: What do you like best about blogging?

Z: Being able to share with my regular readers the daft things that go on in my life.  For some reason, people do come back to see what's going on - and many people have exceedingly good memories about the last time something happened.  Such as the last time I got a black eye ....

I also love reading back as I have a memory like a sieve, so it's fun to see the things that have happened, my children's development over the past (almost) five years, and the antics that Quarsan gets up to.

H: Any thoughts about the Twat and parenting (the subject of M@L)? What's his worst crime been in the step-dad department?

The Twat and parenting should never, ever be in the same sentence.  Having said that, I think that had he been given the chance, he would have made a great dad but he obviously forgot about getting on and having a family in favour of climbing mountains and travelling.

His worst crime in the step-dad department must be the fact that he takes sides with my children.  That is a Bad Thing.

H: Are all female bloggers married to/living with men in IT who do behind-the-scenes tech stuff? Or does it just feel that way?

Z: I know quite a few single female bloggers, if that helps.

H: Like you, I too have a partner who detests mobile phones. 'An inferior technology' he says. Any tips on dealing with that one?

Z: Don't let him have one.  Everybody comes round eventually, trust me.

H: Any suggestions for how to get a man to clear up in the kitchen after he's made a meal? The answer would be the Holy Grail of modern womanhood.....

Z: Oh, this is such a grey area.  I have been battling this one for the six years we have been together.  Standing over my partner and telling him to wipe all the surfaces doesn't work.  The kitchen table is always covered in molasses from where Quarsan has been preparing his shisha pipe, the area next  to the sink is covered in coffee stains and breadcrumbs - I think I'm trying to say that I really am at a loss.

H: How does Quarsan put up with all the abuse? Does he ever complain?

Z: Abuse?  If you think my blog or my book is abusive then you should hear what I have to put up with, hence the 'Twattisms' - Quarsan's snide replies to me.  But no, he never complains - I would never blog something about him that he wouldn't blog himself.  There are  things that Quarsan doesn't like to tell the world and they can be worked out from reading the book.

He loves the attention though, believe me.

H: Come on, admit it, you love him really, don't you? All this piss-taking is an English way of showing your affection for him, isn't it?

Z: Of course I love him - do you really think that I'd write a blog and then a book about somebody I didn't love?

I need to lie down. 

H: On that note, I'd like to conclude by wishing you every success with the book. It's a great read – sharp, entertaining and pacey.

Z: Thank you, and thank you for taking the time to write up these questions.  Good luck with your book!

Posted 05 November 2007 16:05 | Number of comments: 7 | Comments

Blogging Books Dads Domestic chaos

PostingSaving face

"It is indeed not easy for any man to write upon literature or common life so as not to make himself known to those with whom he familiarly converses, and who are acquainted with his track of study, his favourite topicks, his peculiar notions, and his habitual phrases." Johnson: Addison (Lives of the Poets)

When I started this site back in March I wanted to be anonymous. I used made-up names for my husband and daughter and told nobody except close family I was writing a blog. The blogosphere (not that I even knew the term then) was unknown. And therefore scary.  A few people had warned about something called 'cyber-stalkers'. Even though I suspected any self-respecting cyber-stalker would have more interesting targets than me, I didn't fancy the thought of one pitching up as Beanie drank her babycinos.

200pxSamuelJohnsonbyJoshuaReynolds_Small.jpgIn the months since March, I've started to make friends with some of the lovely people I've met through the blog. The blogosphere's no longer such a frightening place. I'm so much more confident about blogging, I've even put my photo up on the site and now use my real name when replying to comments. My entire family and a wide circle of friends know about the blog. Anyway, if Dr Johnson (pictured) is right in what he says, these things get known about regardless of whether a writer wishes to remain anonymous. Or not.

But as anonymity's fallen by the wayside, I'm finding it harder to write about some of the things that the blog has helped me with in the past - notably, miscarriage and pregnancy - and am beginning to self-censor. Petite Anglaise has an interesting posting on the same subject in which she writes about having less room for manoeuvre now her identity's widely known.

I'd love to write more about my attempts to get pregnant again following my miscarriage in May. Suffice to say, 'being on stand-by' has taken on a whole new meaning for Va-vay, while an element of spontaneity has gone from proceedings. You have to laugh. Or at least exchange wry glances. Procreation - as opposed to recreation. It can be business-like. Ovulation test sticks have featured in my dreams.

I should say at this point that I have never been especially secretive. And after I had Beanie I lost most of my few remaining inhibitions and started discussing with near-strangers issues like stress incontinence, depth of vaginal tears, their impact on 'marital relations', and periods. Childbirth seems to have that effect on women. Or maybe it's looking after a newborn. It's liberating.

But I still feel a residual embarrassment at sharing on the web what are, after all, fairly personal and intimate details of my life. Sometimes I think I'm writing here only for my blog friends. But as I see visitor numbers creep up, I think, "Jeepers! I could be sharing details of my menstrual cycle with anybody who stumbles on this site!"

And I come over all reserved and uptight. I don't know the answer on this one. When I had the miscarriage in May, it was cathartic to write about it here on the site and wonderful to get support from other women. Somehow I was able to share about what had happened in a way I couldn't in 'real' life, except with a couple of people. It's easier to write about these things, than talk about them, because it feels slightly unreal.

But as the site attracts a bigger readership, and I focus more on my book, I'm starting to feel inhibited. It's not that there's anything particularly saucy or scandalous in what I want to write, but I'd like to write more about this time of wondering if I can have another baby. The worst bit is the uncertainty and not knowing.

Then I think how unfair it would be on Va-vay to write about that. Or what it might be like to go to a dinner party where a new acquaintance is already only too well acquainted with my intimate gynaecological detail, thanks to reading this blog. Hmmm. Tricky one.

Posted 22 October 2007 13:12 | Number of comments: 18 | Comments

Blogging Dilemmas Miscarriage Pregnancy Fashionably Late - the book

PostingSharp exit

Sorry not to have posted in a couple of days, but I've been unwell. It came on in the second half of The Winter's Tale, just as everything in the play was looking so promising. Florizel and Perdita were off to Sicily to escape his disapproving dad, all the unpleasantness in the first half (Leontes, pictured below with Paulina, going mad and accusing poor Hermione of adultery) was in the past and things had taken a turn for the better. We even had good seats, despite finding our £13 tickets for an upper-circle box meant we could see about a quarter of the stage. An usher, summoned by Va-vay, agreed there was no view from our box worth seeing and showed us to the front of the dress circle.

winterstale372_Small.jpgAll was well, until I couldn't help noticing, really noticing the smell of a glass of red wine belonging to the woman next to me. The vapour wafted out of the plastic cup like there was super-strength alcohol in there, making my stomach churn. Someone else's perfume smelt stronger than usual. The theatre was too hot, my head started to spin and I whispered to Va-vay that I wasn't well. We beat a retreat, without seeing the 'statue' of Hermione come to life in the final scene.

The evening finished with me being sick in the car park - spattering my new suede boots purchased in France in the process - while Va-vay paid for our parking ticket. I did get hopeful this sickness might mean I was pregnant, until Va-vay reminded me it was probably the same bug Beanie had earlier in the week. Still, at least we stuck around long enough to see Shakespeare's most famous stage direction: ''Exit, pursued by a bear". Without wanting to snigger. As exits go, not so much less dignified than our own. 

Posted 21 October 2007 20:42 | Number of comments: 8 | Comments

Blogging Edinburgh Husband Out and about

PostingAll booked up

Midlifer has tagged me in a book meme. Here goes:

Number of books I own: Too many. Despite carting bag-loads to our local charity shop, (we've made up a new verb for this: 'to Bethanise') they reproduce when I'm not looking. Strangely, these days it's often the non-fiction books I keep, while bagging up the novels. I have a bit of a love/hate relationships with books: having grown up in a house full of books I feel uncomfortable without lots of them around, but then I start resenting the space they take up and craving minimalism. Fat chance of that. Our bookshelves are also home to myriad computer books, books with groovy titles like 'XML Primer Plus', 'Developing Windows-Based Applications', 'Red Hat Linux' and 'Designing with Web Standards'. I suspect one of the scary disemvowellers has been at them.

51iyq9fnNYLAA240_Small.jpgLast book I read: Gents, by Warwick Collins (Friday Project) A subtle, almost poetic book whose lyrical tone belies its setting in a large public toilet in London. It tells the story of Ezekial Murphy, a West Indian immigrant, who after a long period of unemployment finds a job as a lavatory attendant. When the local council orders Ez and his co-workers to stop gay men - 'de reptiles' - from using the place for illicit 'cottaging', they do as they are told. But when takings fall, the three men find their jobs on the line, forcing a radical re-think. Sympathetic characters explore issues of sexuality, race and tolerance in a book that's by turns tough and tender. Sensory writing makes Gents attractively evocative of place and people. I didn't expect to be uplifted by a book set in a men's loo, but found Gents both refreshing and readable.

Last book bought:Shadow of the Silk Road, by Colin Thubron (Chatto & Windus) Bought signed copy after hearing Thubron speak at the Edinburgh International Book Festival. 'Hell, I could take Beanie across central Asia in a papoose,' I thought at the time. 'This guy makes it sound so easy.' Yeah, right. But this book encourages me to dream.

Five meaningful books:The New Contented Little Baby Book, by Gina Ford, the book that brought me back from the brink. Cold Comfort Farm, by Stella Gibbons, I'm giggling now even thinking about Flora's battles to reform her relatives, the Starkadders. The History Boys, Alan Bennett - reminds me of a particular time in my own life. The Portrait of a Lady, Henry James - love, deception, betrayal - and Clear Waters Rising, A Mountain Walk Across Europe, Nicholas Crane - for the initial chapters set on the Franco-Spanish border, where I worked for a while as a teenager and later met my husband.

I'd like to tag Omega Mum and Beta Mum.

I've had a couple of awards recently. Thanks to Midlifer for 'Blogging Star', and to Omega Mum for 'You Make Me Smile'.

smile_Small.jpgI'd like to pass 'You Make Me Smile' on to (in no particular order) Beta Mum for her hilarious postings on family life and Iota for her funny and perceptive way of looking at life.

blogstar.jpgThe Blogging Star award goes to 21st Century Mummy, Guineapig Mum and Erica of Littlemummy and British Parent Bloggers. 

Posted 18 October 2007 12:24 | Number of comments: 9 | Comments

Awards Books Blogging

PostingChildren's bookshop opens in Edinburgh

shop_Small.jpgLike all right-thinking people, Va-vay and I love bookshops; maybe it's the thrill of knowing something I find there might change my life, the studious atmosphere, the smell of paper and ink, neat rows and shelves of books. We even went to one (Borders at 120 Charing Cross Road) on a first date together. So we're delighted that Vanessa from Fidra Books is opening a shop specialising in children's books here in Edinburgh, at 219 Brunstfield Place. The shop opens on Saturday 10 November and we can't wait to spend Saturdays there browsing and buying books.

Despite being a City of Literature and home to the annual International Book Festival, Edinburgh suffers from an acute shortage of bookshops, unless you count the many charity shops in Stockbridge that sell second-hand books. Last year's closure of the much-loved Ottakers' store in George Street has left a gap in the lives of book-lovers. So news that Vanessa is opening up her store couldn't be more welcome.

While we were in France we enjoyed visting a children's bookshop in Avignon, where I ended up spending far more money than I really intended on several books, including one about a little girl called Mouflette Papillon and one of the popular Babarpapa titles. Now I'm even more excited about the Fidra bookshop opening.

Fidra Books is an independent Edinburgh-based publisher that specialises in reprinting neglected children's classics by authors including Josephine Pullein-Thompson, Elinor Lyon, KM Peyton and Victoria Walker. Vanessa, a fellow Edinburgh blogger, will also be running her publishing business from the new shop, a bit like Persephone Press does in London.

Vanessa's promised that when Fashionably Late, the book I'm writing about becoming a mum later in life, comes out, she'll have me round to her shop to do a reading for new mums and mums-to-be. I'm still at the stage of roughing out my chapter headings, but that's an incentive to keep me on track if ever I heard one.

Long before that, I'm looking forwards to the shop's launch on 10 November, when the doors open for business and Vanessa will be giving away lots of Maisie Mouse gifts to the first customers over the threshold. There will also be the chance for children to meet some of their favourite characters from books in real life.

Oh, and that's Christmas sorted then.

Posted 12 October 2007 14:28 | Number of comments: 12 | Comments

Blogging Books Edinburgh Festival Fun Out and about

PostingJammin'

September07cropped031_Small.jpgFor years, I aspired to be a domestic goddess. I had all these fantasies about how when I got married I would practise the arts of cooking, knitting, patchwork, pottery, quilting, tapestry, gardening and jam-making.

My future life as wife and mother was so perfect in my singleton imagination. I was going to be the kind of earth mother who made her own organic stock from scratch, could run up a pair of curtains on her machine and had a pasta-maker I used, oh, more than once. Since I only got married at 37, I had a long time to polish up the fantasies, without much of a reality check. Now here I am at the coal face. And I realise how very difficult a job being a good housewife can be. This stuff is tough. Much, much tougher than people acknowledge. But I'm no quitter.

Here is my progress report so far.

1. Cooking

Two or three nights a week I manage a proper home-cooked meal for Va-vay. The rest of the time it's ready meals via M&S. Beanie is refusing to eat anything I cook her. She downs her spoon and bangs on the table for Petit Filou. It's pretty dispiriting. I try not to take it personally.

2. Knitting

Reasonable success here. I've made Beanie a blanket, stuffed hippo and monkey and am half-way through a cardigan for her.

3. Patchwork

Zero progress. Nul points.

4. Pottery

Attended class. Managed to make and glaze large plantpot, of which I am disproportionately proud. I love it. Gave Va-vay evil looks when he suggested re-patriating it to one of his cupboards.

5. Quilting

Thought about going to class. Decided against, on grounds of lack of time.

6. Tapestry

Have stitched in another tulip on a canvas I bought four years ago. My sister came round. Looked at the canvas. Said: "Is there any woman in the world who doesn't have a half-finished tapestry kicking round somewhere in the house?" I don't know. Is there?

7. Gardening

Have applied for an allotment. Estimated waiting time: five years. They are all the rage in Edinburgh after Antonia Swinson wrote her enchanting book about them, You Are What You Grow. Meantime, I have geraniums.

8. Jam-making

Have tried hard here, with mixed results. Two nights ago I made my first attempt at this, after Granny gave me two pounds of plums from her garden. It was all going so well.... then we got to the part where the recipe said to turn the heat up as high as it will go, and then in seconds my beautiful red jam turned into caramelised brown treacle (pictured). Gutting. It's still edible, despite being carbonised.

Other News

I've been lucky enough to get a couple of awards recently.

Lovely Omega Mum at 3kidsnojob, a daily must-read for me, kindly gave me this one:

Awsomeblogger_Small.jpgMany thanks, Omega Mum. There are lots of people I'd like to award it to. I've decided I'd like to pass it on to DJ Kirkby, since her blog Novel with No Name has got me so involved I'm hopping up and down with rage at what's happening to her heroine, a new mother with a less-than-supportive husband.

Lou at the Wonderful World of Anna Gibson was good enough to give me this Nice Matters award. Lou has a young daughter close in age to Beanie and writes about so many experiences I've had as well. Her blog has helped me realise I'm not alone in many of my fears and worries about being a new mum. Many thanks for the award, Lou. Much appreciated.

nicemattersthumbnail_Small.jpgI'm sorry I couldn't award this to more people. In the end, I've had to choose two, so here goes: I'd like to pass it on to Erica of Littlemummy and British Parent Bloggers, because I enjoy her blogging tremendously, she truly is a nice person and we're friends.

I'd also like to give it to Vicky, of Little Legends, the free guide to places for kids in the UK, and Manic Mama, an entertaining mamalogue about life looking after her three little boys.

Posted 12 September 2007 22:16 | Number of comments: 16 | Comments

Activities Blogging Domestic chaos Food Older mother

PostingNo escape

BookFestivalWarhol002_Small.JPG I accidentally plunged into the world of obstetrics again yesterday, in what was meant to be a break from hard-core mothering, during a lunchtime talk at the tented International Book Festival from writers Janice Galloway and Alan Warner on their launch of a not-for-profit publisher in Edinburgh called Long Lunch Press. Galloway and Warner set up Long Lunch with Arts Council funding to ensure an audience for unusual writing they believe deserves to reach the public but that wouldn't attract a commercial publisher.

Hearing this, I was sorely tempted to put my hand up and recommend blogs for the purpose of reaching readers but managed to refrain. However Vanessa at Fidra Books has plenty to say on the subject of not-for-profit publishing in this forthright and shrewd account of why she doesn't think publishing that sneers at profit makes any sense - and why instead of producing unread pamphlets Long Lunch should be promoting their work here on the net.

In keeping with the theme of unusual subject matter, Galloway read to us from Rosengarten, her prose-poem discussing the obstetric tools of child birth. It was the difficulty of finding a publisher prepared to accept this decidedly difficult account of childbirth that prompted Galloway to set up her new publishing venture.

When Galloway told her audience there was to be a reading about obstetrics, I must admit I thought what the many commercial publishers who turned it down obviously did too. And after the reading one couple got up and left, the woman white-faced.

But now I've had to time to get used to the idea, I rather like Rosengarten, which sheds light on a closed world. Stick with me here while I quote from the book, I was initially shocked too, but it's worth persevering.

"This is the business of life

with death, two balances in

precise relation. This is the

business of drawing air and

of drowning fluids, of

slickness and dry compression. Of making

two from one, of nerves

and channels, down and

muscle and veins. Of dark

to light, a business carried

out under the broil of

woollen covers, a business

of touch and steel and

random happenstance

There is bleeding of course.

And splitting and aweful surrender."

For their research, Galloway and her co-author studied obstetric implements, mainly forceps, through the ages, hunting through cases at the Wellcome Museum of Anatomy and Pathology, the Edinburgh College of Surgeons and the Hunterian Museum . Their conclusion? "Raking about... showed how little over centuries the basic designs of the implements have changed."

Maybe the implements themselves remain unchanged, but one aspect of obstetrics that could usefully change is the continuing secrecy and embarrassment about the process of childbirth. Perhaps women do deserve to hear more about what childbirth is really like, and it would be worth overcoming our natural squeamishness for that to happen. Our ante-natal classes were great for making friends, but I learnt little that was useful about the actual birth, then spent months afterwards in shock.

Then again, if someone had presented me with a copy of Rosengarten in pregnancy, would I have wanted to know? Nowadays, of course, I'm fascinated by anyone prepared to talk frankly about childbirth, even if it happens unexpectedly. 

Posted 19 August 2007 12:41 | Number of comments: 12 | Comments

Breastfeeding Health Pregnancy Blogging Childbirth Festival Books Dilemmas

PostingPrize money

The unthinkable has happened - I've made some money from blogging! And it's all been unintentional. Vicky and Piers at Little Legends, the free service to allow parents to find out what's good in their area and share their views, have given me a £50 joint-first prize for my comments on the site. I'm absolutely delighted, not least because I didn't even realise there was a prize available, and also because I'm now enjoying planning how I'll spend my winnings on a family day out planned around local activities suggested on the Little Legends site. Once the rain stops...

For those who don't already know it, Little Legends is a great way of allowing parents across the UK to share knowledge and ideas about schools, nurseries, activities, days out, classes, clubs, parks, hotels, pubs and cafes. Since it started at the beginning of this year, it's gathered more than 36,000 recommendations.

Despite having three little boys to look after, Vicky still finds time to write an entertaining Little Legends blog about fun things to do as a parent. Do have a look and visit the site. It's a valuable resource for all parents. The more people who contribute to the site, the better it will be!

On the subject of prizes, Flowerpot has kindly given me a Thoughtful Blogger Award. Thank you, Flowerpot. I'd like to pass it on (in no particular order) to Mid-Lifer, Land of Sand, My Wee Scottish Blog, Guineapigmum and Elsie Button. Ladies, you're all a great read.

Posted 11 August 2007 12:15 | Number of comments: 15 | Comments

Activities Out and about Awards Blogging

PostingBlog Fest

Guineapigmum, Erica from Littlemummy and I all met for a successful coffee and chat yesterday at one of my favourite childhood haunts, Victor Hugo's delicatessen, after Guineapigmum noticed a jokey comment here about setting up a Blog Fest to run alongside the several other festivals in Edinburgh in August and suggested we meet up.

Erica and I already know each other; we have children almost the same age, and have enjoyed meeting up a couple of times in the Botanic Gardens to chat about blogging and the delights (or challenges) of looking after our toddlers. Guineapigmum and I have swapped comments on each others' sites, but yesterday was the first time we met in person, and I'm glad to say we all had a good time chatting about the important things in life - like being mums, our children and blogging - before taking the younger children over to the swing park together.

It was great to meet up in person, encourage each other, swap tips and find out how we all make time to write postings while working and looking after families (I'm writing this as Beanie has her mid-morning nap, and the sound of her coughing means I'll have to end soon). Many thanks to Guineapigmum for taking the initiative to suggest it.

Yesterday made us all think it'd be great to get more of us bloggers together more frequently. Who knows? Perhaps in time we'll have a proper blog fest - and get to meet in person lots of lovely fellow bloggers from around the country! Keep an eye out for details of future get-togethers.

Posted 10 August 2007 10:57 | Number of comments: 12 | Comments

Edinburgh Festival Blogging Friends