Health workers

PostingHome truths

Not off the hook after all for the home water birth. Not just yet, anyway. Structural engineer got back in touch to veto bedroom for the birth pool. But said our smallest room - the hall - looks like it will take the weight. Husband due to pick up pool, pipes, bleach, colander, heating pad tomorrow evening. Will buy waterproof torch, anglepoise lamp, waterproof sheeting at weekend. Scared? Me?

Unsure about giving birth in hallway. Doesn't feel quite right somehow. Will it be sufficiently private? Can't even remember how much privacy matters in childbirth. Is it a big issue? When was having Beanie, midwife got concerned about daughter's heart rate. Army of green-suited doctors, anaethetists and paediatricians entered through flowery curtain.

"Hello. Where have you all come from?" I asked.

"Did you not see your midwife press the emergency button?" one of them replied.

"Errr... no," I mumbled.

"Don't push," said the midwife, looking up from her notes. "Whatever you do, don't push."

"I'm not pushing!" I said, feeling like small child.

Funny the things you do remember; many of them were wearing clogs. But seemed fine with that. Not embarrassed, the way I would have been. There were phone calls, booking a place in the resuscitation unit, asking if theatre was free. No, we'd have to stay put. They brought out the forceps (I didn't look at that bit). Hauled daughter out of me as fast as they could. Beanie shrieked with displeasure as she emerged. I was a bit sore afterwards. Relief on face of  clog-clad paediatrician posted down bottom end to greet Beanie. "Baby can go straight to mum," she said.

After that drama, I liked idea of giving birth in tranquillity of own bedroom, where, ahem, this whole project started back in October. But do not want to become stupid and obstinate about home birth.

Read cautionary tale about woman who broke down in jealous hysteria when she got text message saying sister-in-law had 'achieved' a home birth. This woman described herself - no, defined herself - as HWBA3C. Yes, my thoughts exactly. Stands for 'home water birth after three Caesareans'. She claimed the Caesareans were violations 'inflicted on her in the name of medical science'.

Spoke to my midwife, whom I trust. Asked if true NHS does unnecessary interventions. "Look at it from a practical point of view," she said. "The NHS is careful with its resources. It has to be. There's not a lot of money available and funding is always being squeezed. Nobody likes to make things more complicated than they need to be. It's expensive to do a section. It's a question of beds and staff time. We only intervene when necessary."

Friend whose wife had their second child last year said: "It's the head count at the end that matters."

Posted 19 June 2008 10:20 | Number of comments: 15 | Comments

Childbirth Daughter Health Health workers Home birth Husband Water birth

PostingParallel universe

I broke down in the doctor's office at my first ante-natal appointment. It was a few days after the positive pregnancy test result. A young female doctor asked me, without looking at me or my notes, "Are you planning on continuing with this pregnancy?" Her jumper failed to cover her stomach and she had a can of Diet Coke on her desk. She might have been hung-over, I can't be sure. Ten years younger than me? Fifteen? I knew without being told that she was childless herself. "Have you even bothered to read my notes?" I accused her. "If you had, you'd know how much I want this baby. Of course I want to continue with the pregnancy. It's a question of whether I'll be able to." I burst into tears and waved my hands around my head. Turned to my husband. "See! She doesn't even care enough to read the notes to find out I've had a miscarriage." My husband held my hands, reasoned with me and produced a hanky to mop up my tears. "It's no good," I told him. "They can't help anyway. All they do is tell you the baby's dead, then act like they're morally superior and have a right to tell us what to do. What's the point of this?" The doctor's skin turned a blotchy red colour and I could smell her sweat. "They have to ask questions like this," said my husband. The doctor nodded earnestly. "Whose side are you on here?" I asked my husband.

Since this debacle a senior midwife, a woman whom I like and trust, a bit older than myself, with several children of her own, has handled all my ante-natal care. I'm now seven months pregnant and, with luck, she'll look after me during the birth. She's arranged her annual leave to be here for me around my due date. But, sometimes, when I go to the surgery to see Lorna, the midwife, I spot the doctor chatting with receptionists, tugging at the same bobbly, ill-fitting jumper, smoothing back her hair, laughing too loudly, hanging on what the older doctors are saying, trying to copy their behaviour. Knowing she hasn't got it quite right. And I remember being the same at her age. Yes, even down to bad taste in jumpers. I've apologised to her for my behaviour - and she was alright about it. Said she realised I needed 'more support'. That she'd spent more time reading through my notes. She was sorry too.

I was reminded last week about the difficulty of  younger people's well-meant but sometimes insensitive attempts to offer care, when I met a twenty-something woman who was training to be a 'childbirth educator'. As with the doctor, I knew, the way you do, that she was childless. "You don't have any children of your own, do you?" I asked. No, she didn't. "Do you, errr, not see that as a problem in helping women through childbirth and becoming parents?" No, she didn't. Could she feel my bump, please? No, she could not.

Posted 24 May 2008 11:33 | Number of comments: 8 | Comments

Older mother Miscarriage Health workers Angst