If the government ever introduces Sats tests for the under-twos - surely only a matter of time - this could be the toy to have at your disposal. Hickory Dickory Clock (sent to us for review by makers Bright Minds, who specialise in toys that are educational and fun) works just like they say in the nursery rhyme. Mice run up and down, powered by infant hands. Youngest daughter Button (15 months) and I have spent hours - yes, literally hours, a tomato sauce even burnt dry one time - sat on the hall floor with this toy. Button enjoys posting the half dozen mice - all different colours - down the chimney. The mice are small, the perfect size for toddlers to grip. Some rattle, other crinkle. Then she opens a door with velcro fastening to retrieve the mice from inside the clock - and stuffs them down the chimney all over again. The transparent clock face means Button can see the mice as they scuttle down. The clock hands move, clicking as they go. So obvious potential there for an older child learning to tell the time. One reason I like this toy is because it should have a longer life span than many I've bought. It comes with a handle, on which there are black and white abacus-style counters that Button examines. On the back is a mirror, now smeary from licking. The nursery rhyme associations give the toy an old-fashioned quality, I sing the verses to Button as we play; it's sturdy and well-made (though in China, like most toys these days). At £29.99, Hickory Dickory Clock is not exactly cheap, but we have already had a lot of pleasure from it and I'm expecting more. Unlike a lot of the stuff littering our flat, (yes, I mean you, Sparkle World Magazine) the toy looks sensible even when not in use. The carriage clock design means it can sit on a table, without looking like something I haven't yet got round to tidying away. If you are looking for a gift for a pre-schooler who's at the loading/unloading stage, this might not be at all a bad idea.
It was the strap line of this book by fellow blogger Charlotte Moerman that got me intrigued (as all good strap lines should). "One mum, three boys and a very steep learning curve". Three boys - ah. You see, being the mother of two daughters, I have no idea what it's like to bring up a small boy - let alone three - and I have to admit to being curious. I'm happy to be a mother of girls - I always wanted daughters, and gave a great whoop of delight when the sonographer told us that's what we were having - but I do sometimes wonder what it might be like to knit things in blue. The front cover picture gave me some idea - it's of a woman with a blond bob hunched over her laptop. All around her is the chaos of toy diggers, waterpistols and general mayhem. Or, as the author puts it, "the ebb and flow of assorted plastic tat". Plenty of that round our way too. Only most of ours is pink.
This is a well-written book that succeeds in taking one person's experience of becoming a parent and weaving it into an entertaining yarn that speaks to many people. It's fair to say that Moerman maybe isn't in the league of some of the very best writers on parenting - say, Kate Mosse and Rachel Cusk - but she's not half bad, and her writing is well-observed, sharp and fresh. Moreover, she's funny. Here she is preparing her hospital bag for the birth of her first boy: "I must pack my hospital bag. I must pack my hospital bag. I must pack my hospital bag. I just wish it wasn't so off-putting. [...] For the labour, snacks, a big T-shirt you don't mind chucking afterwards and a pair of socks. Camera, huge paper pants that even Bridget Jones couldn't carry off and sanitary towels, each the size of a Magnum."
There are times the text jumps about in a slightly unsatisfying way that makes it easy to lose the narrative thread, and other times when you sense the writer has maybe had to self-censor on certain subjects (though I am only guessing here). But Moerman more than compensates for these quibbles with her skill in blending the universal experience of motherhood with the particular zeitgeist. This is, above all, a contemporary book, about what it's like to go from being a thirty-something career woman, holding your own with your husband, travelling and having fun together, to frazzled stay-at-home mummy, devoted to your boys but wondering what's happened to your identity. It's a book about the time in your life when your children get invited to more parties than you do. About discovering Gina Ford. About hanging with your NCT pals. It's fun. I've found myself returning to it several times over the past week or so.
I have two free copies of Instructions Not Included, £12.99, Virgin Books to give away. Please drop me a line at mail@motheratlarge.com by 31 March to be included in the draw.