Despatches from a mother who started late (and is running to catch up)

Blog to Book - Fashionably Late

I am writing Fashionably Late, an irreverent guide to having children later in life. Did you become a mother over 35? If so, and you'd like to tell me your story please contact me at mail@motheratlarge.com.

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Leave us mums alone

The children of working mothers are more likely to be obese or overweight, says a new study. Around a quarter of the 13,000 children studied by the Institute of Child Health in London were overweight or obese by the age of three. No prizes for guessing who's allegedly to blame.

"Long hours of maternal employment, rather than lack of any money, may impede young children's access to healthy foods and physical activity," said the researchers.

The more successful mothers are, the worse the problem, which I find hard to believe. Children in households earning £22,000 to £33,000 were 10% more likely to be overweight than in households earning under £11,000.

In the last 25 years stay-at-home mothers have fallen from nearly 55% of the total to just 21%.

Reading studies like this, I wonder why working mothers seem to attract more flak than convicted criminals/fraudsters/estate agents.

What's behind these studies that attempt to guilt-trip hard-working and loving mothers, doing their best to keep a roof over their families' head?

Why don't we see reports criticising the government for lack of affordable, flood-free UK housing that would mean more mums could stay at home?

Or a study calling for better-paid, higher-status part-time jobs, with more flexible working, that would mean fewer parents have to work full-time?

Or more criticism of the food giants that make their money peddling fatty convenience foods to young kids?

Leave us mums alone, I say.

Posted 25 July 2007 12:51

Angst Food Health Parenting gurus Work Work vs mothering

Comments

mid-lifer said:

There have been studies and there are moves afoot to improve part-time opps MAL - a real crusade of mine I must say. The Women and Equalities unit recognise that mums are a wasted resource, often being forced into low paid part-time positions. But who knows when/whether anything will or can be done about it. It's one of those don't get me started issues.

Just to cheer you up I've awarded you a Rockin girl blogger award and tagged you!

Posted 25 July 2007 14:45

Flowerpot said:

why the hell do they waste all this money on such stupid surveys anyway? There are much better uses of government money methinks.

Posted 25 July 2007 15:09

Mother at Large said:

Thank you, Mid Lifer! That's lovely to get a Rockin' Girl award from you. Interesting too to know about the Women and Equalities unit.

Flowerpot, my feelings exactly.

Posted 25 July 2007 15:41

Reluctant Memsahib said:

Whether one works (out of the home) or whether one works (only at home), if you're called 'Mum' you can't win. Happy mothers make happy kids, who cares whose fat or thin - what alot of b. Why don't those who conduct these silly surveys do something more useful. For every one that tells us the offspring of working mums are worse off, there's another to tell us those of stay-at-homes get the rawer deal. Ignore it all and do the job your way.

Posted 25 July 2007 17:28

Omega Mum said:

So they're off again, are they? Let's see, what's next?

I know: "Mothers who have more than five coherent thoughts a day and use polysyllabic words are more likely to have children with a vitamin deficiency."

"Mothers who read government reports are more likely to feel guilty."

Parenthood, eh. Dontcha just love it?

Posted 25 July 2007 18:17

DJ Kirkby said:

'Hear hear' M@L! Fed up with it, do they really think it is the preferred choice for the majority of us working moms? Why don't they spend survey costs on lowering mortgage prices so I could work fewer days a week?! Pah!

Posted 25 July 2007 19:33

Mother at Large said:

Reluctant Mensahib, agreed. It's almost worth getting some branding consultants in to think of a new word for 'mum' so we can get some respect.

Omega Mum, you couldn't make some of this stuff up.

DJ, sure the money could be better spent.

Posted 25 July 2007 19:57

orchidea said:

I don't want to come over as preachy but when I compare my domestic science education (in the UK) with my daughter's (in Switzerland), there's no contest. I was taught how to make fairy cakes and buns, she is taught how to cook nutritious and tasty meals from - shock, horror! - raw ingredients.

My mother worked all hours and I wasn't and am not obese, but that's more down to genes than anything else. And, probably, the influence of my Swiss father who condemned baked beans on processed-to-within-an-inch-of-its-life white bread, toasted, to the graveyard of what he defined as inedible and wouldn't accept salad without a proper dressing, rather than a huge dollop of salad cream.

From my, admittedly biased continental European viewpoint, there seems to be in the UK less of a food culture handed down throughout the generations (and there are more cookery programmes on the BBC than I've seen on any French, German or Swiss chanel combined). In contrast, for one aisle of convenience food in a Swiss supermarket, there are ten in Britain.

And anyway - bloody hell! - what about fathers who work? Aren't they equally responsible for their offspring's nutrition? It's the 21stC, right?

Posted 26 July 2007 08:29

orchidea said:

channel, sorry. Oh... and cooking is compulsory for boys, too. ;)

Posted 26 July 2007 08:38

bushra said:

i have to admit, even though i am a brand new mum, and among the first in my family to actually want to continue with my career after my baby is born, there are moments when your confidence in your decisions falter.

i had read about this study too, and to be honest, i've long ago started ignoring them. we've got the brains to juggle careers and motherhood so give us some credit!

Posted 26 July 2007 10:45

Mother at Large said:

Hi Orchidea, Perhaps we could encourage the (UK) government to throw its efforts into revising home economics lessons, instead of harrassing already hard-pressed mothers. My home ec. lessons were even more feeble than what you describe - we had classes in how to apply nail varnish, practised balancing hymn books on the top of our heads (to improve posture!) and made a tabard towelling top - not a must-have item even back in the mid-80's.

Posted 26 July 2007 11:42

Mother at Large said:

Bushra, well said!

Posted 26 July 2007 11:42

zornhau said:

Have they adjusted the survey for social class?

Posted 26 July 2007 22:39

Mother at Large said:

Zornhau, ah yes, thank you for mentioning the elephant in the room on this one. Suspect the authors were too squeamish to tackle issues of class - this is a British survey after all. To be honest, so was I! Classifying purely by income is a rather blunt instrument.

Posted 27 July 2007 12:54

zornhau said:

Don't worry, Jamie Oliver got there first with his Jamie's Dinners series.

The truth is that the British underclasses, in general (though there will be exceptions), live off crap. A cursory glance around certain supermarkets in certain areas confirms this.

I'd want to be very sure that my survey wasn't picking up on "Most working mums do so out of poverty. Most poor people eat badly, either out of poverty or lack of knowledge or facilities. Therefore most children of most working mums have a poor diet, and are over weight."

Posted 27 July 2007 17:01

Mother at Large said:

Frankly, Zornhau, it's not just the underclasses. My efforts to persuade daughter to eat a diet of organic vegetables must be doomed to failure.... Just this morning I enjoyed two large, sugary and extremely tasty do'nuts.

Nutritional value = zero.

Calorific content = oh, I don't want to think about it.

And I gave some of them to daughter. Bad mother!

Posted 27 July 2007 21:29

zornhau said:

No, you're still a saint. I've seen Irn Bru in baby bottles.

Posted 28 July 2007 19:08

Mother at Large said:

Zornhau, the stuff that's made in Scotland from girders? Lots of iron in it, any road.

Posted 28 July 2007 19:30

powerplayvienna said:

My dad used to put newcastle brown ale in my little sisters bottle!!!! not on a one off, but regularly.

ALso, honey on the dummy was a good one for him too.

Needless to say, they both had no teeth by the time they were 3.

Disfunctional cretins

Posted 31 July 2007 11:14

powerplayvienna said:

Posted 31 July 2007 11:21

Mother at Large said:

Hi Powerplayvienna,

Oh well, I'm sure your dad had his reasons. Shame about your siblings' teeth.

Posted 31 July 2007 11:24

Mother at Large

Welcome to this site. It's based on my personal experiences of becoming a mother a little later in life. If, like me, you waited a while to have children you're in good company. More and more of us are waiting until our late 30s or even 40s to become parents. Some might even say we're fashionably late.

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About me

Mother at Large dreams of crossing the Pyrenees with her young daughter. For now, getting to playgroup takes all her energy. To find out more read her full profile.