Despatches from a mother who started late (and is running to catch up)

Blog to Book - Fashionably Late

I am writing Fashionably Late, an irreverent guide to having children later in life. Did you become a mother over 35? If so, and you'd like to tell me your story please contact me at mail@motheratlarge.com.

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Learning the lingo

Reading a piece in The Times about neologisms that are creeping into the language, I started to think about some of the mother-and-baby ones they missed from their list, which included gems like blogosphere (hurrah!), biopiracy, embed and podcast.

Here are some newly coined words and phrases for parents that I've encountered recently. Please let me know if you agree or disagree with them, and about others you've stumbled across.

1. Travel system

Or, to give it the full title, a 3-in-1 travel system. A complex arrangement of plastic, wheels, buckles and straps, costing the annual GDP of Moldova, that mysteriously transforms into car seat, forward-facing pram, rear-facing buggy, rocket ship and Formula One racing car. With optional footmuff and air conditioning. Special prizes available for anyone who can fathom the crypic instruction manual while pregnant or recovering from childbirth. (Pictured above is another kind of 'travel system' altogether)

2. 'Bye bye' - as transitive verb. 'To bye bye' meaning 'to dismiss'

Not strictly a neologism, but usage has changed. 'To bye-bye' is to wave away undesired objects. Example: "She bye byed away the broccoli as she was no longer hungry and waved for Petit Filou." When Beanie gets bored with something she says 'bye bye' to indicate I should remove it.

3. Develo-play

Wheeze to persuade parents of young babies that buying certain toys will boost early motor skills. Often billed as 'interactive'. How the human race survived so long without this stuff at its disposal I can hardly begin to imagine. It wasn't like this back in the late 60's when I was a kid. Cue Last of Summer Wine music.

4. Infant stimulation

The big buzz word of childcare. Surely a ruse dreamt up by toy makers' marketing teams, who have realised they can persuade parents to shell out on tonnes of unwanted and largely useless plastic by laying a guilt trip on them and suggesting that without these toys, children's development will be delayed? Baby Einstein provides CDs of classical music suitable for under-ones.

5. Baby gym

A nest of fabric and colour, with toys dangling from above, for newborn babies to explore.

6. Soft play

Perhaps designed to soothe our fears that children might get hurt while engaging in the rough-and-tumble normal to early childhood. Little about this experience is soft.

7. Discovery cards

Remember flash cards? They've had a make-over. This is: "the perfect on-the-go learning activity for babies and toddlers"

8. Teether book

Book with plastic edges for babies to bite and chew on while teething.

9. Pacifier

Dummies are increasingly popular with modern parents. And they have a new name, borrowed from North America. Let's face it, pacifier doesn't have the same negative connotations as dummy.

Anyone know of any others?

Posted 30 August 2007 09:40

Childcare Etiquette Kit Perfectionism Play

Comments

Erica said:

Great list, I'm sure there must be more...the only coined phrase I seem to hear these days is 'breast is best' - does that count?? :)

Posted 30 August 2007 12:04

Mother at Large said:

Erica, certainly gives a new meaning to breast-beating! (groan) :)

Posted 30 August 2007 13:43

iota said:

Am I dreaming it, or did I once see a 4-in-1 travel system?Ther

I still think of "interactive" as a pretty new word...

An alternative word in the US for "pacifier" is "binky". And of course, as they are so squeamish about the female anatomy, breast-feeding is nursing.

Posted 30 August 2007 23:29

21st Century Mummy said:

I think fascinator could be added here, not baby-related, but topical. Just read the Times article, I should tell one of my old consultant colleagues about the Road Map entry. It could be attributed to him, as he was using it in context back in 2000...when developing a "road map" for digital rights management. I love language development don't you!

P.S. I love Iota's reference of the "binky", sounds so much nicer :-D

Posted 30 August 2007 23:40

DJ Kirkby said:

Have you seen the pics of the pacifiers I have a the very bottom of my blog?

Posted 31 August 2007 08:10

Mother at Large said:

Iota, crikey! Four-in-one - that would be car seat, buggy, pram and.... ? First car? Food processor for pureeing first solids?

Quite like the word binky, as 21st CM says below. Hearing it now in my imagination as Derek Jacobi might say it In the Night Garden.

21stCM, agreed. They missed a trick with facinator. Definitely deserves a place on the list. Though I'm unsure how long it'll endure as a fashion item. On personal note, have concluded I look much too ridiculous in one! :(

DJ, off to check them out again now!

Posted 31 August 2007 10:13

21st Century Mummy said:

Shame about the fascinator :-(

Have you tried a small crystal bead pin for your hair, they can look quite pretty and there are lots of designs about. Also not too expensive either.

Posted 31 August 2007 10:57

21st Century Mummy said:

Shame about the fascinator :-(

Have you tried a small crystal bead pin for your hair, they can look quite pretty and there are lots of designs about. Also not too expensive either.

Posted 31 August 2007 11:09

Omega Mum said:

Ours were 'gub' - a general, all-purpose word describing any residual dirt, mess or stuff. Still much in use today.

And 'grunger'. I honestly thought this was what under sink food munchers were called, until I tried to order one.

Posted 31 August 2007 12:32

Stay at home dad said:

That list makes me feel ill!

Didn't children themselves become young adults a while back?

Posted 31 August 2007 14:55

Mother at Large said:

OM, gub and grunger - both good words. We use gromicular to describe dirt or mess. Yours has advantage of being shorter.

Posted 31 August 2007 19:42

Mother at Large said:

SAHD, doesn't it! Sure you're right about young adults. Working on that principle, that would make me a middle-aged adult and Granny an old adult. She'll be so pleased! Thanks again for rugby tip - seriously.

Posted 31 August 2007 19:44

Mother at Large said:

21st CM, the crystal beads sound a much better idea. Shows you've made an effort, but not to point of dressing up as one of the Tittifers. Thanks. Will investigate further.

Posted 31 August 2007 19:46

Scruffy Mummy said:

Apparently you're not supposed to talk about potty or toilet training anymore. It should be toilet learning. Soon it will be toilet discovery or toilet exploration!

Posted 31 August 2007 21:31

iota said:

... or elimination communication, Scruffy Mummy. Did you hear about that?

Posted 01 September 2007 05:53

Mother at Large said:

Scruffy Mummy and Iota, not liking the sound of this toilet learning/elimination communication (shurely some joke?) And here was St Gina promising we could do it in a week. If it was that easy, people wouldn't talk about so much. Would they?

Posted 01 September 2007 12:38

Jo Beaufoix said:

When Ingenious and I get together and one of our kids does something funny or e hear something interesting we call this 'blog fodder'.

And loads of people call awards bloggy-bling which I love.

Interesting topic.

Shakespeare made up loads of new words didn't he.

It's fab.

Posted 01 September 2007 14:54

Mother at Large said:

Jo B, so glad you say that about blog fodder. I've started to see everything in terms of blogging.

Posted 01 September 2007 16:57

IngeniousRose said:

Oh no! I do hope they don't change the term 'toilet training', we are still battling with all things toileting over here and no doubt just when IJ is getting there it will not be politically correct to even say toilet and we'll be back to square one.

It is true - you can get a 4 in 1 travel system!

Posted 02 September 2007 23:21

IngeniousRose said:

PS Soon all children will know the word 'SatNav.'

Posted 02 September 2007 23:22

Mother at Large said:

Ingenious Rose, as if it's not hard enough teaching children the concept in the first place, then the words for these things go and change on us. 4 in 1 travel system? Crikey, I thought that just existed in the fevered imagination of buggy maker marketing depts. What's the final piece?

Posted 03 September 2007 11:11

iota said:

I think it might be a bit of a cheat. Lie-flat bit (1), bucket seat which can be forward-facing or backward-facing (that counts as 2 and 3), and lifts off to be car seat (4). But don't quote me on this.

Posted 04 September 2007 02:49

Mother at Large said:

Iota, that would make sense. I like the look of these outboard motors too, that older children can perch on while younger siblings travel inside the buggy (not that I have any need of such a vehicle, sadly).

Posted 04 September 2007 05:57

Mother at Large

Welcome to this site. It's based on my personal experiences of becoming a mother a little later in life. If, like me, you waited a while to have children you're in good company. More and more of us are waiting until our late 30s or even 40s to become parents. Some might even say we're fashionably late.

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About me

Mother at Large dreams of crossing the Pyrenees with her young daughter. For now, getting to playgroup takes all her energy. To find out more read her full profile.