Despatches from a mother who started late (and is running to catch up)

Blog to Book - Fashionably Late

I am writing Fashionably Late, an irreverent guide to having children later in life. Did you become a mother over 35? If so, and you'd like to tell me your story please contact me at mail@motheratlarge.com.

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Pregnant women are being advised not to drink any alcohol during the first three months of pregnancy by a health watchdog that last year said would-be mothers could drink a glass of wine every day. What is it that makes every man, dog and government quango think they have the right to pontificate on how about pregnant women and new mothers should manage our lives? And why can't they at least make their minds up about what they're telling us to do?

The Department of Health said in May last year pregnant women should stop drinking altogether. But the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence said a few months later there was no evidence a small glass of wine every day caused any harm after the first trimester. The obstetrician who chaired the group developing the latest abstinence guidelines has admitted the latest guideline changes are not based on any fresh scientific evidence, saying: "There's no evidence of definite harm of drinking that level of alcohol per week [a daily glass of wine] but we are unable to guarantee women that there will be no harm." As if pregnancy isn't hard enough already, you get bombarded with conflicting advice from medics more interested in covering their backs against lawsuits than in looking after vulnerable pregnant women.

Posted 26 March 2008 21:46

Guilt Health New baby

Comments

potty mummy said:

Apologies if I told you this already, Helen. I had two rules about drinking whilst pregnant. 1. Wine only. 2. That wine had to be WORTH it. I.e. Not just because I was feeling in need of a glass at the end of the day; it had to be a wine I would enjoy & savour. You'd be amazed how much that helped to control my intake of the red / white medicine. (But thank heavens for the government and their directives. I mean, I was pregnant, of course. I would have been incapable of making my own mind up on this matter...)

Posted 26 March 2008 21:53

Helen said:

Potty Mummy, with you completely on all of above points in your comment. I follow similar rules. And yes, where would we any of us be without some bossy boots telling us what to do.

Posted 26 March 2008 22:26

cartside said:

When they came up with one glass of wine a day being fine I had to laugh out loud. I don't think I've ever drank that much in a week when NOT pregnant. German friends of mine, however, thought I was a really bad mum to be for touching the occasional glass of red. My goodness, I'm pretty sure my chocolate binge eating did more harm than that.

Posted 26 March 2008 23:05

Helen said:

Cartside, unfortunate you mention chocolate eating so close to Easter! Like you, I can't manage more than the odd glass of wine while pregnant. Maybe Mother Nature's way of protecting us from anything that could harm the baby.

Posted 27 March 2008 00:34

Juliet said:

Yep, and so everyone will have the right to glare accusingly and disapprovingly at pregnant women who dare to have half a glass of wine on an evening out. Just like they glare disapprovingly of women who breastfeed in public! Spot the theme? Doesn't matter whether one's doing what's 'recommended' by the nanny state or not, people just LOVE to glare disapprovingly!!!

These 'rules' always make me chuckle anyway. After 18 months of healthy eating and not drinking I'd given up trying to get pregnant with #1, went to a christening party, drank lots of champagne, discovered two weeks later I was pregnant. Ditto with #2. Gave up, went on seaside holiday, lived on chips and beer for 2 weeks, came home and there was the blue line. And #3 was an 'accident', so wasn't even trying to avoid anything. All three therefore sloshing around in wine, coffee and diet coke for their first couple of months in utero and thankfully all 100% OK despite my dreadfully reprehensible behaviour.

Posted 27 March 2008 14:44

Helen said:

Juliet, oh, thank you so much for sharing that, as I can relate to quite a lot of it! There must be a big link between parties and becoming pregnant - why else would so many babies be born nine months after Christmas?!

Posted 27 March 2008 16:01

beta mum said:

Thank heavens I had my children when it was OK to drink the odd glass of wine. I was far less vigilant with the second pregnancy, and she's much less trouble than the first.

Perhaps that's the answer?

Posted 27 March 2008 21:07

Helen said:

Beta Mum, you could well be onto something here.

Posted 27 March 2008 21:09

Mother at Large

Welcome to this site. It's based on my personal experiences of becoming a mother a little later in life. If, like me, you waited a while to have children you're in good company. More and more of us are waiting until our late 30s or even 40s to become parents. Some might even say we're fashionably late.

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About me

Mother at Large dreams of crossing the Pyrenees with her young daughter. For now, getting to playgroup takes all her energy. To find out more read her full profile.