Despatches from a mother who started late (and is running to catch up)

Pramface babies

"Is anyone ever ready for their first baby?" asked a teenage father in last night's Pramface Babies, which followed teenage mums giving birth in a Merseyside maternity ward. Granted, it was one of the few sensible things he had to say for himself, but he did have a point. Watching Pramface Babies I couldn't help but imagine the producers behind the cameras, you know the type; would film their grandmother in her death throes if they thought there was airtime in it. They found an easy target in the young working class mothers who starred in this show (one of them is pictured above), especially since the women were mostly filmed while in labour. No doubt the producers, with names like Annabel, Gemma and Charlotte will conceive to order at the correct ages, somewhere in their late twenties or early thirties, being neither too young or too old. Pity those of us who don't fall into the 'correct' timeframe for childbearing. Too young, and you're a feckless fool. Too old? Oh, a selfish career bitch.

I have worked and went to school with many women like the Annabels, Gemmas and Charlottes who produced this show. But personally, I have more time for the women ('pramface' is council estate slang for teenage mums) in front of the camera. They weren't the ones making money out of poking fun at other people. They showed love and dedication for their children. Sure, they were a bit daft and naive about what motherhood and relationships involved. But so what? You could see they were so desperate for affection after neglected childhoods, they'd fall for the first half-decent bloke who came along.

You could put together a grisly documentary on posh girl mating habits, that would make far more disturbing viewing than Pramface Babies. Many girls I studied and worked with were frank about marrying for money and status. One woman I knew admitted she was marrying her husband for the Norfolk manor house, opportunities to open church fairs and status as wife of a senior naval officer and had no plans to give up her female German lover in London.

In contrast, the women in Pramface Babies might have been clueless (of course they were, they didn't have the education or experience to be otherwise), but I respected them. They were determined to be the best mums possible to their babies. They believed in unfashionable concepts like 'love' and 'affection'. They were capable of warmth and kindness (not generally a posh girl forte). And unlike many of us (I include myself in this) they didn't waste time agonising about the work/life balance, or the 'right' time to have a baby. They just did it. The only thing that stops me, an older first-time mum, from greater sympathy with them, is that most of them got their figures back within months of giving birth. Now, it would be nice if the same were true for me....

Posted 14 March 2008 13:24

Childbirth Fashionably Late - the book Older mother Pregnancy

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