Despatches from a mother who started late (and is running to catch up)

Blog to Book - Fashionably Late

I am writing Fashionably Late, an irreverent guide to having children later in life. Did you become a mother over 35? If so, and you'd like to tell me your story please contact me at mail@motheratlarge.com.

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Happy Birthday Zornhau

One of the nicest things about blogging has been the Friends Reunited aspect: getting back in touch with old friends I haven't seen in years. My friend Zornhau and I more or less grew up together. Then we lost touch: I moved away to London, he stayed in Edinburgh. I kept in occasional contact with his sister. I went to her wedding, she drove two hundred miles to come to mine, even though she was in early pregnancy and looked wretched. We sent presents for each other's babies. I heard snippets from her about Zornhau's life.

Twenty years after I last saw Zornhau I was pushing a buggy along an Edinburgh street when I bumped into him by chance. We chatted for a few minutes. Both married. One child each. Me a daughter. Him a son. Working in similar areas. We talked of house renovations, flats and primary schools. Good, grown-up stuff. "Do you have a blog?" he said, as we parted. "Yes, Mother at Large," I yelled into the wind. Thank you, Va-vay, for what must have been a memorable blog address. We renewed our friendship via our blogs.

Last Friday was Zornhau's 40th birthday. It was lovely to help him, his wife and their many, many friends celebrate. There were lots of people - yes, real people - there I've only ever known as people commenting on his site. So I got to meet the blokes behind blog names like Calcinations, The Hat and Single Point. There was also a group of people I remember from the teenage party years. Zornhau's wife pointed out a man standing at the bar. "That's Michael," she said. "You'll remember him from when you were growing up." I peered at the bar, looking for a shy and gangly teenager. No-one there fitted the bill. I looked at her in puzzlement.

"There," she said gently. "In front of you." I looked again. The Michael I remembered had gone, bulked out into a full-grown man. This bloke was confident. Could hold a conversation. Look a woman in the eye. He even had a girlfriend, for goodness sake. Others from our gang of friends were there. It was fantastic to see them. Though we all of us - amazingly - seemed to have aged twenty years overnight. And some of them turned out to be behind blog names I've seen on Zornhau's site and elsewhere. That's the thing about blogging - you never quite know where you are.

Posted 20 April 2008 14:18

Blogging Friends

Comments

Rosie said:

One thing that I really like about blogging is that you can wish friends happy birthday, or in fact send other types of message to them (I received an apology via a blog once which was lovely).

I was going to post a comment about the first paragraph of your post(re false sense of familiarity) which I read via email subscription, but when I clicked onto your blog it wasn't there!

Posted 20 April 2008 18:02

zornhau said:

Glad you enjoyed yourself! It was amazing to have you there.

Also there were ginja_badga, gliesderic, Andy Gilmour (always blogs under own name), cairmen, krumphau, one or two goths from LJ, Charles Stross, Verdandiweaves, and curmudgeon.

I suppose I shall have to write an after-match-report. However, I will admit to being biblically wasted thanks to the syndergy between people buying me drinks, and my now abstemious lifestyle.

Posted 20 April 2008 19:28

Helen said:

Hi Rosie, sorry, I have this terrible habit of editing posts after I've posted them. Will try not to do it in future!

Hi Zornhau, was great to see you on such good form and enjoying yourself. Quick question: 'biblically wasted'? Does that mean you were wasted - or you weren't?

Posted 20 April 2008 19:49

Helen said:

ps - Zornhau, you had every reason to over-indulge, it was your 40th after all....

Posted 20 April 2008 20:06

zornhau said:

Well, in the Bible, when Israelites lay waste to a land, they do it fairly thoroughly, e.g. winkling out all the small furry animals and adding them to the pile of dead things, not just burning the houses but also the contents, and tossing the olive bushes onto the conflagration.

Thus, by biblically wasted, I mean a little tipsy :)

Posted 20 April 2008 20:14

Helen said:

Geddit.

Posted 20 April 2008 20:43

Mother at Large

Welcome to this site. It's based on my personal experiences of becoming a mother a little later in life. If, like me, you waited a while to have children you're in good company. More and more of us are waiting until our late 30s or even 40s to become parents. Some might even say we're fashionably late.

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About me

Mother at Large dreams of crossing the Pyrenees with her young daughter. For now, getting to playgroup takes all her energy. To find out more read her full profile.