Despatches from a mother who started late (and is running to catch up)

February 2009

Giant step for womankind

Anyone who saw me seven months ago, when pelvic pain in pregnancy made it a struggle to reach the end of the street, might be surprised - and pleased too, I hope - to hear I've signed up for this year's Moon Walk - a fund-raiser for Walk the Walk, a charity which supports women affected by breast cancer and funds research into this dreaded illness. It's amazing the difference a few months and some decent physiotherapy can make. The walk will take me, together with my fellow walker and great friend Vanessa from Fidra Books, much further than the end of the street. Together with around 12,000 other people, we'll be walking 13 miles through the darkened streets of Edinburgh on the night of 20th/21st June. A close friend of mine is fighting breast cancer and my mother has recently lost a friend to it. Nearer the time, I'll be asking you if you can spare a few quid in sponsorship for this fantastic cause.

We have begun our training. But no point in overdoing things. Vanessa, who writes here about her motivation for doing the walk, and I are building up slowly to the full 13 miles. This is humbling. Five years ago, I could walk 20 miles in a day without undue effort. Last week we managed our first two practice walks - of three miles. It was knackering. My legs hurt. My pelvis hurt. Worst of all, my pride hurt. This week, we might - might - tackle four miles.

But what a difference compared to being pregnant with Button. One Saturday in summer last year, ten days overdue, I made it as far as the fabric department of a local store. Quite an achievement in those days. All around us, women were trying out pink feathers, sequins and ribbons, giggling and holding them up to their chests to see what they looked like. "What's going on?" I asked the assistant. "It's the Moon Walk tonight," she explained. "It's to decorate their bras for the Moon Walk. To raise money for breast cancer." That was my introduction to the event. I'm thrilled - and only just a little bit daunted - that this year, all being well, I'll be out walking the walk too.

Coming up soon: reviews of My Bump and Me, by Myleene Klass, and Instructions Not Included; One Mum, Three Boys and a Very Steep Learning Curve, by Charlotte Moerman.

Posted 23 February 2009 12:54 | Number of comments: 5 | Comments

Button Edinburgh Friends Out and about Pelvic girdle pain/SPD

In Praise of.... Baby Yoga

This week, in the first of a series of postings on activities for mums and babies, I'm writing about baby yoga, which I've been discovering with youngest daughter Button, now nearly seven months. I did consider baby yoga with her elder sister Beanie, back when she was tiny, around three years ago. But by the time I got my act together to enrol, Beanie had started crawling. Which - sadly - ruled us both out. What stopped me trying to sign up sooner was that I wasn't sure if the yoga was for me. Or the baby. It all sounded silly, and I feared it would be full of Professional Mummies whose children had names like Tarquin and Arabella, who did everything perfectly. And I couldn't understand how a baby could do yoga. My only excuse for being so dizzy is I was suffering that "alien from another planet" feeling women tend to get after having their first child. It pains me to say so, but I had reached my limit in terms of ability to tackle anything new. And one of my literary heroes takes a dig at baby yoga in his Scotland Street books, which added to my hesitancy and embarrassment.

Now I know more about what's involved, it seems a shame I didn't do yoga with Beanie. Focussed one-to-one time with your baby is enormously enjoyable. It might sound a little sad to say the classes have helped me play better with Button; you tend to think that playing with a baby should be one of those instinctual, intuitive things that mothers (and fathers) just know how to do, but the truth is that many of these skills are learned behaviours. It's been great to learn new rhymes, activities and songs for very young babies, and I'm singing to Button a lot at home. Her face lights up when I burst into song (this being one of the fantastic things about having very young children, they are so uncritical and don't notice a little thing like being out of tune). As a second child, Button doesn't get that much undivided attention, so it's especially good to have some time - just her and me - to do something special.

I'd say that one of the key benefits to baby yoga is that, unlike many of the activities aimed at the under-ones, it's fun for both parent and child. The poses, as you would expect, are much gentler than in mainstream adult yoga. Mothers and babies share a mat together, where the mums do some poses while holding their babies, (and, amusingly enough, simultaneously singing a ditty to the tune of "What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor?"). Then the mums do a few more poses on their own, leaning on hands and knees, looking down onto baby underneath on the mat. At the class I attend (I guess the same is true at other classes around the UK) the poses are chosen specifically to help with typical problem areas affecting new parents - such as sore wrists (from lifting), tight neck and shoulders (feeding), stretched tummy muscles, stress and tension (no need to explain those, I'm sure). The teacher encourages us to do arm movements to help prevent blocked ducts or mastitis. No sightings as yet of any dads at the class but I can't see any reason why a father couldn't go along too, (though he'd have to be the type that doesn't embarrass easily).

When it comes to baby's turn, mums move baby's arms and legs gently so baby can do some yoga too, helping baby to bend their knees up to their chests and open their arms out wide, then close them again. Of course, I simplify, but that should give you an idea. I'd never have dared try yoga with Button on my own before this class. In fact it wouldn't even have occurred to me to try, though I've done yoga for many years. But she loved it, giggling and cooing her appreciation at me, and now we do little bits of yoga on her changing mat at home. The other babies seemed to be enjoying themselves too. There's something about the intense focus of being with your baby - no need to worry about housework/cooking/nursery run - that I'm loving. I hesitate to use that expression "quality time" - but the classes do make me feel better about the fact Button, a younger child, will never get as much attention as Beanie did when she first arrived.

Baby yoga has also turned out to be a much more serene experience than you might expect in a roomful of small babies. An incense stick is usually burning and for the last couple of weeks - in Edinburgh's chilly February weather, note - the same butterfly has been flapping at the stained glass windows in the upstairs room of a church where the class takes place. The guided meditation at the end of each session works better some weeks than others, for obvious reasons, but, perhaps surprisingly, I always come away from the class refreshed and energised, even on the weeks when Button finds it harder to settle, which can be stressful.

In terms of cost, if you book a block of four classes, each session works out at £7.50, which I think represents good value. Some of the mums from the class go for lunch after each session so there's the chance to socialise afterwards too. I haven't noticed any competitive mothering at the classes (no mention whatsoever of size of house, husbands' chosen career/golf handicap/motor vehicle) and it feels like a safe, supportive environment.

If I had to think of disadvantages, I'd say the 11am start time can be an issue, as it clashes with Button's nap time - and presumably that of many other babies - so she's often tired in the class. As I mentioned earlier, this class has a built-in expiry date, since it doesn't take babies who have started to crawl. I've managed to forget all the timings for landmarks like crawling, but think it must be about nine months - is that right? So we'll only have two more months of baby yoga, before Button's outgrown it. Something that I view as an advantage - the fact the classes are only for mums and babies - could be a disadvantage, if you have a toddler you want to bring along with you.

For me, overall, though, I'd say baby yoga has been a big success. I'd recommend it with enthusiasm.

Posted 15 February 2009 17:41 | Number of comments: 8 | Comments

Activities Button Edinburgh Fun

A bit much

Despite this week's snow, Button and I went along as usual on Thursday to our weekly exercise class in the park with a bunch of other people, the mothers wrapped in Gortex and fleece, the babies barely visible from under their layers of blankets, snowsuits and hand-knitted hats. At one point in the class we were lying - admittedly on our waterproof mats - on the remains of snow from earlier in the week. It's hardcore - but great fun and I've come to take the class for granted as a great way to get some much-needed exercise. A few mothers running round a park with their buggies no longer seems like anything out of the ordinary to me. Others, it transpires, aren't yet quite so comfortable with the concept.

As I mentioned in a previous posting, there's normally no shortage of comments from passers-by - chiefly dog-walkers, allotment-owners, old ladies and other parents - as we struggle past, cheered on by our trainer. But up until recently all of the comments have been good-humoured. That was until this Thursday, when we were unlucky enough to bump into a crowd of kids from the local secondary school out on their lunch break. What they shouted out to us did not fall into the 'good-humoured' category.

Do I phone the head of the school in question - the little charmers had uniforms that made them identifiable - and let him or her know that male pupils are making a nuisance of themselves by harrassing - albeit in feeble fashion - mothers and babies? I'm not under any illusions about how unfit I've become in pregnancy, but it seems a bit much to have teenage hoodlums providing a running critique of my physical failings. Or do I just rise above the situation and let it go? Yes, I may have already answered my own question.

Posted 06 February 2009 20:35 | Number of comments: 5 | Comments

Activities Edinburgh

Blog re-think

Regular readers of this blog might have noticed I haven't been posting much of late. Sorry about that. I do have a good excuse. New baby and all that. Many of you being mothers yourselves, there's little need to describe the chaos - joyful chaos, mind, but still chaos - involved in caring for a newborn. But Button is now more than six months old, sleeping through the night, eating three bowls of gloop daily (if you don't count the stuff that goes on her bibs) and beaming at us the rest of the time from her bouncy chair in the kitchen. Life has settled into some kind of tentative new equilibrium. I must admit I feel nervous writing things like that. As if tempting fate to throw everything up in the air again. Really hoping that doesn't happen. Could quite enjoy a nice, calm stretch of time. Facing nothing more momentous than a new route for the nursery run. Or going to this place for morning coffee; instead of this one. Life on a grand scale. But anyway, it's time to revisit the blog. After a longish gap from regular posting, I'm taking the opportunity to rethink what I want this site to be about. Until I work that out, my plan is to post around once a week on random subjects connected with pregnancy and parenting, none of them, it must be said, particularly connected with being a late starter mum, just things I personally happen to find interesting and that could be relevant to mums of all ages. Have done a couple of recent postings on help for pelvic pain in pregnancy, a subject close to my heart since, like an estimated one in five of all pregnant women, I suffered from the condition myself in both my pregnancies, and I'll be posting more on this subject from time to time. Partly to promote awareness of the problem, partly to offer support to women left immobile in their pregnancies by it. On a lighter note, now that I'm back on my feet and getting out and about more, I'll also be writing more about local activities in Edinburgh for toddlers and babies, looking at what's available and providing a few reviews. Last month I started classes in this practice, (pictured) which Button and I are both loving, and at some point in the next couple of weeks I'll be writing more about my experiences there. I've already posted about my adventures in the local park with other neighbourhood mums. There'll be other postings, too, looking at the pros and cons of different activities such as Baby Cinema, playgroups and the like.