Despatches from a mother who started late (and is running to catch up)

No-one has it all

At last, a sensible column from Times journalist Minette Marrin: "The best tip for women wanting to have it all is, don't bother" Who could disagree with Marrin, when she argues that the demands of being career woman, domestic goddess, yummy mummy and pillar of family and community are too much?

Marrin has good advice for working mothers. Among her best tips: "Don't cook unless you really must. Think catering rather than cooking."

She advises: "Give up answering the telephone just because it's ringing." It'll probably only be a sales call anyway.

Another tip: "Don't spend time with people who boast, either about their beautiful lives or their talented offspring." That rules out most mother and baby groups. And makes toddler music groups an absolute no-go.

Posted 03 May 2010 11:48

Angst Domestic chaos Work vs mothering

Comments

Nigel Lane said:

Love that piece of advice, "Think catering rather than cooking." Life as a parent is non-stop and full of countless challenges. If you are a stressed out parent who is looking for some useful child-rearing advice, then you should definitely check out the website: www.awesomeparents.com/blog/

Posted 04 May 2010 09:16

Zornhau said:

Fie on catering...

"Cook in bulk, and cook things like mince that can easily be repurposed. The freezer and microwave are your friends."

But yes, I think it's true that - whether male or female - you can't have it all.

Posted 04 May 2010 12:12

Helen said:

Nigel, good to hear from you.

Zornhau, you and Mrs Z are better at this cooking lark than me.

Posted 04 May 2010 22:00

Around My Kitchen Table said:

I long ago gave up trying to have it all. I work full time so have settled for hit and miss housework, less than perfect grooming (forget elegance, think Bohemian!) and learning to say no occasionally to the myriad calls on my time.

Posted 23 May 2010 20:52

private boarding school said:

Learning to say no is really important. Great post.

Posted 14 June 2010 12:37

Maris said:

Great piece of advice all busy moms these days could surely make use of. Wanting to have it all while trying to be as nice as possible is more of a bummer for me. Putting up with moms gushing over their kids before you, giving them too many praises than what they truly deserve, is already a hypocritical act of trying too hard to be nice which only ups mom stress and robs us of that precious time we so badly need for other far more important stuff.

Posted 14 July 2010 20:42